Thursday, June 23, 2011


Hello Ladies!

Today I bring forth an very important subject.  That happens to near and dear to my heart.  That is "NEIGHBORHOOD BULLYING".  Bullying of all types are on the rise now, especially in our schools.  But,  you rarely hear of neighborhood bullying.  My children are currently being bullied in our neighborhood.  Immediately after I am done with this post my husband and  I will be going to the police station to  make our 3 rd police report , on children from the neighborhood in which we live. harassing my boys.

From there I plan to spend the entire day, two days, week, weeks, month or months researching this disgusting behavior to bring forth more awareness in neighborhood bullying, I will not take this lying down.  I plan to use every breath in my body , until I am heard.  It seems some adults think that this is common children like behavior...I am hear to tell "IT'S NOT".  These are my children, they are not action figures, they have feelings, and have the right to feel safe in there own neighborhood.  They have the right to feel relaxed and free as they play outdoors , just as children should feel. 

My husband and I have been to many childrens homes to speak to the parents, in most cases the parents will instruct them to no longer behave in that manor. These children don't even honor their parents wishes. And continue to do as they please...which is to harass my boys.

My boys were jumped a month or so ago, by 5 heard me 5 other thugs ( yeap, that's what I called them.....common THUGS).  My boys are the ages of 12, and 9.  Right here at our neighborhood " quote un quote "PLAYGROUND".  These thugs had the nerve to hold my 9 yr old back while the other 5 jump my 12 yr old, they then stole one of his sneakers, in which I sent him out with two, along with his watch.  But, I must say My 12 yr old fought back, with every bone in his body.

This post is not to boast about how well behaved , smart and mannerable my children are.....But, damn it they are... that plus more.  I am raising men, not punks.  My boys are the type of boys who will run across the street to help our older neighbors with their bags, and will politely refuse anything offered to them in return for helping.  They will politely say " We just wanted to help" .  You can see my boys ( not only my boys all of my 5 children girls included)  on any given day picking up trash off of our front lawn, with out being told.  When they take in our trash cans on trash day, they also take in our neighbors " just because".  You will never hear them curse, wear their pants belong their butt, or see them grabbing their crotch as they talk . This is how they are being be men.... not punks.

My husband and I have since put them into boxing, ( including my 11 yr old daughter) , there they are learning discipline, restraint, more respect, and confidence in knowing they are NOT push overs...."WHAT SO EVER". And they love it! ( they will not however be taking this boking thing to far, just now its doing just what they need, confidence. They will not become pro's , just a little something for now)

Now, my husband and I have informed them they "MUST" defend themselves when at all necessary.  But only when necessary, like if someone puts their hands on you. However the bullying in our neighbor hood has gotten totally out of control.  One little thug had the nerve to tell my son he was going to put him into a coma, another time we came home and a kid ( I believe it was a kid because of its handwriting)  came up to our pourch while we was not home and wrote " WE HATE YOU".  There has been soooooo many incidents, it would take to long to type.  My boys are tired of this nonsense now, as my husband and myself and are ready for an all out war.  However I've explained to them we will settle this differently.  The police will get tired of coming out to my home for complaints, they will do more about it.  Because each time it happens I plan to call them out or go to the police station myself. 

If your child is being bullied ANYWHERE, but particularly in your neighborhood, please do something about it. I implore you to not ignore it.  The more awareness to this problem, the more it will be taken seriously.   parents, police, landlords,  ( been there too) and neighbors will be forced to realize this is NOT JUST KID BEHAVIOR, THAT THIS IS ONE STEP AWAY FROM CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR.


What Is Bullying?

Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior that is intentional, hurtful, (physical and psychological), and/or threatening and persistent (repeated). There is an imbalance of strength (power and dominance).
The above definition includes the following criteria that will help you determine if a student is being bullied.

What Does Bullying Look Like?

•Hitting, slapping, elbowing, shouldering (slamming someone with your shoulder)

•Shoving in a hurtful or embarrassing way

•Taking, stealing, damaging or defacing belongings or other property

Verbal Bullying :  
•Insulting remarks and put-downs
•Repeated teasing
•Racist remarks or other harassment
•Threats and intimidation

When and where does bulling occur:

In the United States, it increases for boys and girls during late elementary years, peaks during the middle school years, and decreases in high school.

Physical severity may decrease with age.

It is most likely to occur where there is no adult supervision, inadequate adult supervision, poor supervision, a lack of structure, and few or no anti-bullying rules; it is also more likely to occur where teachers and students accept bullying or are indifferent to it.

It occurs virtually everywhere: in homes, nursery schools, preschools, elementary schools, middle schools, high schools, neighborhoods, churches, city parks, on the trip to and from school, on the streets, and in the workplace, for example. It occurs in large cities and small towns, large schools and small schools—and even one-room schools in other countries.


3.7 million youth engage in bullying each year

3.2 million youth are victims of moderate or serious bullying each year

Bullying has been declared a violation of civil rights in some cases

160,000 students per day stay home from school because of bullying

Bullying creates a fearful environment that impacts learning.  Approximately 14% of 8th through 12th graders and 22% of 4th through 8th graders surveyed reported that bullying diminished their ability to learn in school;

Bullying causes children to runaway

Bullying causes eating disorders

Bullying causes low self-esteem

Bullies grow up and often abuse their spouse, children and co-workers.

So, as you can see ladies as you can see bullying is very...very...very serious.  I plan to make and pass out fliers  in our neighborhoods in hopes of spreading awareness on  neighborhood bullying.  In trying to  advocate for all of the children like my very own who are being bullied in their neighborhood.

Some may think, perhaps you should move.  My husband and I have considered it.  But, to be very honest I like it here its just the " children like thugs". The neighborhood is lovely, beautiful , well kept...just overall a very nice area.  If in fact my husband and I decide to relocate, it will not be before I bring awareness to this problem , in hopes of helping the family who may move into my place.

Please...please...please spread the word.  And, if you see any child being bullied in your neighborhood, even if its not your own.  Please be a voice for that child , step , and do not become a victim yourselves.  Because bystanders who do not speak out  are just as much a bully or being bullied by the bully.

Thanks for reading guys, you are appreciated!:))




ChocolateOrchid said...

Zainab1, I am so sorry to hear that your children (and you & fam) are experiencing this terrible act. Yes, your kids and your family (as all families & people) have the right to feel safe and comfortable. Especially, in their own neighborhood/home.

I pray that a positive resolution comes to this quickly and that you all's peace & peace of mind is restored.

Unknown said...

@Chocolate Orchid...Thanks, CO. I appreciate that!:))

Thanks for stopping by, and please do spread the word about neighborhood bullying.

Kira Rana said...

I am against bullying also it just sucks that these kids have no compassion for others. They will hurt another child and go on about their day like its nothing. I am sorry that your kids have to go through it all. Your voice will be heard even if you have to call cops, speak with the principle,guidence counselors a hundred times.

Unknown said...

@Kira Rana...Thanks!, I plan to be heard, until someone listens. Things have subsided a bit , I'm thankful for that :)0 I had to take yet another step forward, and I think that may have done it, action was taken :))

Thanks for your concern and your comment, take care :))

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear what about what's been going on with your children! You and your family deserve to live in peace. We all do. I remember going through that when I was younger. It was horrible. Kudos to you and your husband for being your children's biggest defenders and teaching them to defend themselves! Thanks for telling your story!

Unknown said...

@Anonymous...Thank you! , thankfully things have since subsided. I had to take it a step further and it was there we finally found help. Although, My husband and I are still considering moving.

I totally agree with we all deserve to live in peace. Thank you ever so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Please spread the word about bullying to children of all types. We must continue to stand up and support our children:))

Thanks again, take care :))

Anonymous said...

I completely understand what you are going through. I am having a similar situation with my daughter and our neighbors and am at a complete loss of what to do to help her. Everywhere I look is about bullying in the schools, but this is the only place that talks about it happening at home.
I hope you continue to fight against bullying and letting people know what is going on. Take care.

Unknown said...

@Anonymous...So sorry to hear your daughter is going through what she is going through. And your are 100% correct you read soooo much about bullying in the school systems. But NEVER, EVER in our neighborhoods where it can be just as bad if not worse. Thankfully after, many attemps and contacting all I could to help my sons in our situation, the last and final attempt worked so we are no longer having problems. But , because my family and I have gone through this I plan to continue to speak on this very subject as much as possible.

I hope it gets better for you and your daughter, tell her to keep her head up:))

Thanks for stopping by, take care :))

Anonymous said...

I know the exact feeling you are going through/went through. We have moved to Spanish Lake a suburbs in st. louis, and since we have moved here, it has been nothing but hell. The neighborhood children have jumped my 9 year old son, they continue to taunt him everytime I allow him outside (which is not often of fear of him being beaten up) I have spoken to a few of the children parents and they are as ignorance as their parents. I have yet to contact the the police deparment due to countless searching via cyber to find that there is a law in missouri for bullying in school and cyber bullying. I have not found anything about bullying in the neighborhood. A few years ago there was a kid they was in high school who kept being bullied, one day the bullies followed him home to fight him, a mob surrounded his door and front lawn, his mom stepped outside and shouted for them all to leave, as they began to jump her son, she shot a gun in the air, a bullet hitting someone in the mob, killing the kid. Unfortunately she was arrested and charged for his murder. The mom had made many reports to the spanish lake pd about her son being bullied and nothing was done. I'm afraid that one day my son will get fed up and one day harm someone very badly,or maybe they will harm him badly. I just wish all this could end. I'm afraid

Unknown said...

@Anonymous..I am truly sorry to hear about your son in this horrible situation. If I WERE YOU i would immediately go to the police station sign a complaint on these kids parents.

And each and everytime your son gets bullied , call the police ask the police to go to the homes of these kids for haraasing your son, ask them to make a police report.

This may help in letting these children know you are not playing with them and they are to leave your son alone or their parents will be going to court and you plan to press charges to the fullest.

I did this and all has stopped it's been a year or so since any problems. In fact these very same children play football with my boys, although I am close by I still keep an eye on them. They even play in front of our house with my sons. I am now known as the lady who will call the cops on you, (lol). I wasn't looking for this title, but hey its working.

Another tip write down address and date and time of each incident so that you can take this to the police and to court if it gets to that.

hope this helps, i truly wish you and your son well and that this will cease soon. Take care

Anonymous said...

Hi hun just wanted to ask for some advice for my 13 year old daughter. We own our home but have had some "renters" move in with 3 children age 9,11, and 13. My children have lived here most of their life and my 3 year old all of her life. This has always been a good neighborhood until these new renters. They started bullying my 13 year old daughter immediately. And not just the children the mom too. They scream across the roads and yards that my daughter is fat or they will punch her in the face at the bus stop. Including this mother. They are not just bullying my child they are also bullying another little girl who is 10. Her parents are more passive and says "Its normal childhood behavior." And I have to say because these parents never say anything their kid is always getting picked on and bullied. And my 13 year old has stood up for time after time. Including last year on the school bus when this little chubby 10 year old bent over and showed the top of her butt crack. Kids took pictures and she was humiliated over it for days. The parents still did nothing. The only one who spoke for the child at all was my daughter who told them to leave her alone. These parents are nice people but they are VERY passive and thinks it will go away. It is not going away. These new girls in the neighborhood have targeted my daughter because she walks to and from the bus stop by herself. And because my daughter chooses to ignore them and their mother who is just as guilty (I have heard this myself) and act more like a grown up than a 13 year old kid. These children never say anything alone. It is only in groups. Probably because my daughter is twice their size and they know my daughter would smash them. And has been told NEVER to start a fight or call names back but ABSOLUTELY defend yourself if some one touches you. We have asked these kids and parents to stay off our property several times and control their children. Their children and the parents act like lunatics. We have even put up a fence and no trespassing signs. Their response is they dont have to and we cant make them. They have even stood outside my fence and thrown rocks at my 3 year old. I am at a loss what to do. I did notify the school this morning and told them they were calling my daughter names and that were threatening her last night to "punch her in the face at the bus stop" the response I got was they are smaller than her and if she hits back she gets suspended. How is that right? Its okay for them to call her fat and threaten her but its not okay for her to defend herself or she is in trouble NOT them? Please help!

Unknown said...

Hello , im truly to hear this is happening to you and your family . We as parents have to protect our children from this type of behaviour . just as you are doing . I suggest you start documenting each incident , date and time , that this occurs . in addition to that i would sign a complaint on this family & press charges to the fullest . Hope this helps , wishing you & your family the best . Continue to stand by your daughter . Take care & thanks for stopping by.

Anonymous said...

This sickens me because children learn from parents...I have experienced it all I live in Grand Haven, Michigan"PLEASE GOOGLE "GRAND HAVEN MICHIGAN RACISM TRIBUNE" I say children learn things from parents because I have a bi-racial family a 5 year old daughter and a autistic non-verbal 11 year old son..soon after moving in and being seen as a single mom..I immediately became a neighborhood target because of my family race.I couldnt leave my house at night without a man following me outside to watch us..he has a videocamera in the window and has it pointed toard my house I have had witnesses as well as my boyfriend tell me to report these things to the i did...I assume this man was videotapeing my house and in my bedroom window only because he was bored..until it bacame time for me to take my 5 year old daughter to school. School only being a block away from my house it was easy to just walk until we figured the man with the camera had a friend who came out "almost every morning" to slur words toward me and my 5 year old..I tell my daughter to just walk fast and hummmmmm.I eventually got bored with trying to advoid this man and wrote a letter to my daughter school explaining they need to inform me if they see this type of man at the school because my family is being racially targetted and these people know my daughters discription its her first year in pre-k and it wont be her last. I gave his discription, age range,plate, and vehicle type..Its not fair to be bullyied these people would wait for us to come home and flicker lights set off their vehicle alarm stand in the window behind a telescope(before he got the video camera)and in my opinion study what our next step is then in my thoughts I didnt want to come home to one of these men in my house waiting for me and my children.Grand Haven Public safety knew what we were going through and turned the blind eye to my family needs so all we can do now i s prepare ourselves because we have to protect us. I cant change how people feel about my race I just want to live in peace and be safe to come home without having a neighborhood twillight zone..I made flyers trying to see how many single women in the area was this happening to and all it did was made public safety try to cover these behaviors of Franklin Street and Ferry Street men. When is it legal to videotape a person house and there bedroom..People do have hate in there heart and I now understand how bad it hurts but I take the intimidation and stalking as a daily ritual until there next move. My 5 year old says"mom why do the not like us!" I told her because they don't know us!" We love all people and I really never wanted my daughter to see the hatred of people in this way. Who is scared of 5 year olds these days to a point her riding her bike on the sidewalk raises riding flags. Sorry but it is wrong I pray everyday!God Bless You Stay Strong I Do...I wish these things just go away.

Unknown said...

Hi Anonymous,

I am speechless. And so sorry to hear this is happening to you and your family. Please stay encouraged, you have a story to tell one that I'm sure is happening to many others all around the country.

Have you thought about moving ? if not maybe you can go to the top person at your local police station, your mayor, if you rent go to your landlord to have this person put out. Im sure he's voilating the lease.

Some way provide more proof that you can take to the police station this way they have no excuses.

Thankfully, it is better for us now, the entire situation has gone away. But, not before I did a few of the things I suggested here.

Once bullyies know we are not afraid of them and will stand up and find ways to have them exposed they become the weak person they truly are and may perhaps back down.

Please stay safe. And fight like hell (not physically) until you get the respect deserved for both you and your family. Everyone has the right to live in peace.

I hope this helps. Take care.